Her 2nd message sets off alarms for me. If I were on eBay
and couldn't pay, I might send a similar first message. Since she paid, though, clearly she COULD pay, so I don't understand the initial delay. It appears that her philosophy is "the best defense is a good offense".
If you think it would do any good, and if you are so motivated to take the time (even though you shouldn't have to), you could send her another message and try to explain that your initial question was not trying to be rude, but simply trying to evaluate why the 'standard' eBay
transaction wasn't so standard after all.
Whichever way you go, definitely put her on your blocked bidder list. Sounds like her temper goes from zero to 60 in nothing flat.