Has This Ever Happened To You? What Would You Say And/Or Do?

In my opinion submitting a typical want list is not the same as making a commitment to buy. It is a notice to a dealer that you are interested in these items and if he has them to let you know the price and availability. The puffery aside I see no wrongful behavior here; dealers make their money when they buy, not when they sell. I would let him know you were the underbidder. Whether or not you continue the relationship would depend on how you feel the puffery's relationship to his honesty/integrity.
Don

My personal approach would be to consider two questions:

1/ Is this a relationship I wish to keep?
2/ Is the price he is asking one I would pay?

In neither case would I mention that I knew about the "puffery".

I would just make an offer I am willing to pay and leave it at that.

Personally, the "puffery" would turn me off but to each his own. I know dealers need to make a profit but I prefer a bit more "honesty" in a dealer.

Some of the responses here are head scratchers, especially the implication that the dealer is somehow doing something unethical by daring to want to make a profit. Oh, the humanity!

I agree with the recommendation to alert the seller as to your awareness about the auction in question. See if you can come to a compromise. If not, then walk away.

He is not obligated to sell to you at your price, and you are not obligated to buy from him at his price.

I personally have purchased items from both Eric and Richard that they purchased at auction where I bid against them. They have deeper pockets; they won. I had to ask myself whether the pieces were still desirable enough for me to pay their markup (in some cases almost double). Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't.

Welcome to the free market.

I agree with Studebaker, Dadeo, and revenuecollector. I wouldn't get too offended about the 'story'. Go ahead and tell YOUR story - you were the underbidder, you know what he paid, and you know that he paid it last week (or whenever this happened). As Dadeo said, decide what your relationship to this dealer is worth. Either let him know that your high bid WAS your price, so "Thanks, but no thanks", or that you may be open to a reasonable price based on what you already know - let him re-offer, or make your own offer.

In the end, he HAS to know that there was a chance that he was bidding against you. I don't think this is a big 'lesson to be learned' for you, but perhaps for him. If he is reasonable, he will understand the situation as it is. If he gets upset, maybe it is NOT a relationship you should cultivate.

As a dealer I take want lists - but with the provision that they are only valid for a short period of time.

As a buyer - I am not obligated to purchase items from it.

Yes it has to go both ways because time does not stand still for buyers or sellers.

The exact same thing has happened to me. The emotions of "wanting but missing out" are strong, but the dealer did top your bid.

Just share your side of the story and see what happens. Often, when a dealer sees an opportunity to buy a customer, he/she will set aside some profit to cultivate a relationship.

Apologies for my post. After reading the OP again it was unwarranted.
Paul

If a collector gets outbid by a dealer, the collector didn't want the lot very much, even more so if the lot was a single stamp and it was on a want list.

I would let him present his "best and final" and mention nothing about being the lower bidder. He already knows.

Jack Kelley

I endeavor to reduce any trade, to just "Offer and acceptance"
Leave emotions out of it.

I have had 2 examples this past week.

My Plant nursery, texted me my Callistomens have arrived, and the 10 x Lilly Pillys are still not available.

I have had to email, confirming my prev advice, purchase is conditional ONLY upon prior advice of price.

Then the Electrician, phones me his quote, "work was too involved, I can only do "hourly rate" ($165 per hour) 2 days
(I'll be looking elsewhere)

With the stamp, I'd be offering my best price, and leave it at that.