Got Any Good Stamp Collecting Jokes? Let's Hear Them!

My ex-wife says I was "unhinged".

Clever stuff! Anyone got a joke or two about stamp dealers?

Don

Three stamp dealers were stranded on a desert island with all their stock.

All three made a profit.

How to make a million dollars as a stamp collector?
Start with 2 million.

Commemorative Postmark
Irish Vincent Van Gogh Society

Stamp collector with an eBay problem.

"You're a high priced lawyer, if I give you $500, will you answer 2 questions for me?"

"Absolutely, What is the second question?"

(Lifted from another website and adapted to a stamp theme.)

A young man visited his crazy uncle at his shack in the woods. The uncle invited him to stay for dinner. After dinner the nephew noticed eggshells stuck to his plate, which had a peculiar dull shine.

"Are these plates clean?" Asked the nephew.

"We ain't got no fancy plumbing out here and them plates is as clean as Cold Water can get'em", replied the uncle, "So never you mind about it".

The nephew stayed overnight and, rested and hungry, asked, "What's for breakfast Uncle?"

"Oh, I thought we'd go to town for breakfast, I need to go to the post office. Cold Water's coming too."

"I don't understand, Uncle, we're taking water to town?"

The uncle laughed. "No, no, Cold Water's my dog's name, he likes to lick the postage stamps when I mail a letter".

A pre-1991 joke:

What are two differences between collecting stamps and collecting baseball cards?

The type of gum difference is especially noticeable when each is used; the gum soaks off stamps but you often need to scrape off the other. More regumming with stamps as well since the practice is not as revolting as with cards.

My wife's philatelic translator (all said in good fun to tease me).

Tweezers that don't grip (Tongs)
Little pictures AKA scraps of paper (stamps)
Wax paper envelopes (Glassines)
Eye chart (Perf gauge)
Holder thingies (Mounts)
Pocket book (Stock book)
Crystal Ball (Signoscope)
Scraper thing (Dental Spatula - I use to cut hinges among other things)
Magic Gas (lighter fluid)

Judy's grandmother once told Judy about how she and Judy's grandfather met.
"I was dating this man but suddenly he left for war. We wrote love letters to each other and I learnt how splendid the man was."
Judy asked her grandmother, "So you married him when he came back from war?"
Her grandmother laughed, "Oh,no! Your grandfather was the postman!"

What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? - Post Office!

What begins with E ends with E and only has one letter in it? - Envelope!

This is one of the worst jokes I've ever heard, but since it was told to me by the late Pat Herst, I'll pass it on. A stamp dealer arrives at the pearly gates and St. Peter asks him to name one good deed he's ever done to advance philately. The dealer thinks for a long time and them responds that a boy came into his shop to buy a 10c pack of hinges and only had 5c and that I sold it to him for 5c. St. Peter walks away and comes back a few minutes later and says here's you nickle back. Go to hell.

Old stamp colectors never die, they just become unstuck.

I have a joke about the postal service.


It will be delivered tomorrow.