How Could Someone Leave This Forum?

Don's words: it breaks the database 'referential integrity' is very true. My story is very different, but reinforces Don's words.

I was a contributor to the Stamp Magazine forum (UK) under user 'cNA'. My posts were mainly in the "Which engravers / engraved stamps do you most admire?".

I was aghast to find one morning that all my posts had been deleted. I never asked for removal. On page 61, questions were asked by three posters as to how my postings had disappeared, but there was no reply from Admin. It was found by one pivotal/original poster that someone asked for the account to be deleted and Admin complied!
Admin later found it was the wrong account that had been deleted.
Do I buy the story? No I don't; But hey, the server space is not mine.

Now, the thread is incomplete. Apparently the new policy 'post this saga', is never to delete any posts.

Moral: If someone wants to leave, it's their choice; leave your scent behind.
cNA

I think someone leaving is different than deleting someone. In the case of this thread the original poster just needs to leave, there's no real reason to try and delete their posts. What might be kind would be to change their notification preferences to make it so they will never get another notice...

In the famous words of Chazz Palminteri, "Now yizz CAN'T leave."

A Bronx Tale - My favorite movie of all time.

Just to provide some context this thread. The original poster (OP) joined and asked for input but added he was seeking replies from experienced hobbyists. I saw the poor wording within 5 minutes of him posting it and started to monitor the thread. The OP received a few helpful relies but then a member called out the request from experienced hobbyists and crossed the line by throwing in some personal insults. For me, the decision on how to handle the situation was made easier due to the fact the OP followed up with a staff message requesting to remove the thread. The OP also later mentioned that he was a very young person, apologized for the poor wording in his original post, and then requested to leave the forum. I could not verify his age but frankly it does not matter. I try to give all folks a second or even third chance; anyone can have a bad day, have something come across poorly, and/or run into a second language issue. I reach the limit of my patience when someone shows a trend of poor behavior.

In this case it was a shame that we (the community) did not show this fellow some patience. I am showing patience with the member who ran him off, he has been a contributing member for a long time. And he was right in his opinion that the OP first post came across poorly. But the point is everyone should cut some slack for each other. We proactively moderate the forum and this should give folks faith in our ability to handle problematic situations. No one needs to jump on a new poster and get snarky, if there is a pattern of 'poorly worded posts' please be assured that it will be addressed. Also please feel free to contact a Mod if you feel strongly about an issue, but note that chances are good that we are already dealing with it.
Don

Well, that's unfortunate. Thank you for explaining the situation so clearly.

This forum is generally helpful, informative and friendly and as a new collector I've learned a lot from it. The only time I dislike it is due to the injection of American cultural/political discourse by some members from time to time, which frankly, is divisive, boring and off-putting to an international membership. We have an off-topic section, IIRC, that I'd suggest is the place that American members can pursue their "culture wars" if they so choose to.

Don: thanks for the context. Myself, I'm continually amused by the basic questions that persons new to the Forum ask. It's because I can see where I came from many years ago.

Today is the 60th anniversary of my becoming a stamp collector, at age 10 1/2. It was Palm Sunday, April 10, 1960. After getting home from church and having lunch, my dad got out his old stamp albums and introduced me. He showed me how to soak stamps, which I promptly did off some missionary mail that had come to the house. I also retrieved a mint San Marino stamp out of a piece of junk mail, which became my first foreign stamp.

60 years later, I still have that San Marino stamp, even though I no longer collect the country. I also have his red Scott Modern album and his Ivory Stamp Club album, both with stamps inside, that he gave me. However, neither is in active use now.

Thanks, Don. Context is everything and (your) patience is a virtue. IMHO, stamp collectors are an oddly intelligent bunch who come from all walks of life and don't suffer foolish things easily. From what I've seen here over the years, many are quick to jump on the uninformed, the beginners looking for answers but don't like the answers (especially those who just KNOW they have a 594, 596, 613, etc.), the know-it-alls and others.

In the past, I've referred to them as "grumpy old men". It's a phrase which I feel entitled to use as I am also a card carrying member of the club and have jumped on the bandwagon with others. Sometimes though it gets out of hand.

I appreciate you, Don. What you do for the hobby is truly a labor of love and how you treat everybody here, grumpy or not, is amazing. Thank you for your patience, tolerance, and positivity. You are truly a jewel among this otherwise normal quarry full of rocks. :-)

Lucky he wasn't on the Australian forum, that's for sure!
I do note the patience of most members here, especially with me but I do believe that for the growth of the hobby, patience is needed.

First of all, I wish to apologise the community and, specially Don, for my unfortunate post that has contributed so much to this ugly affair. And, also, thank Don for his indulgence on something not-well done. Please, forgive me for perhaps not using the best words, as English is not my primary Language.
The later, might also have contributed to the harshness of my answer. Choosing the appropiate wording is crucial when addressing a tricky affair. And, now I know, I did a poor job.

I won't even try "to pour wàter on wine" and to try to dilute what I wrote. What's written, is written. You can't put a clock back! I fully assume that I did something that's not correct and take the whole responsability.

At 61, I should have known better how to handle some things!
But, I'm afraid that the 4 weeks of covid lock-down (with 3/4 more looking ahead) are taking a toll on my spirit and mind. Let's hope that, one day this situation will be over!

I've member of this community for nearly 9 years, with my modest contribution on my very limited field of knowledge and having the fortune of getting in contact with many worthy people. I wish I could keep going on. But, I leave this on the hands of the moderator.