Go ahead & laugh, but when my eMails go unanswered, I show them that I mean business, and send a fax.
Use two online translators.
Use one to take your
very simple declarative sentence from English to German.
Use the 2nd online translator to re-translate your German text back into English.
Keep fiddling the original English text - no compound sentences, no sarcasm, no complex constructions - until the sentence successfully passes from English to German to English.
This is a sort of Turing Test: if two different translators can pass the sentence back & forth, it is reliably intelligible.
Someday, hopefully, someone will name this test after me

Cheers,
/s/ ikeyPikey