Auction Describers Gone Wild

Like writers of menus for restaurants one notch below a Michelin star, auction describers sometimes trip on the pinnacles of hyperbole in their zeal to sell their wares. Yet these philatelic uber-geeks often also succeed in inducing a chuckle, if not a bid. Join the fun by posting examples here. We'll begin with this, from Kelleher sale 722, catalog released today:

Yep, that's one over-the-top description. You'd have to be a certain age to get all of the pop culture references......

Marketing 101: better defined as "upselling" a product; or, putting "lipstick on a pig! You have to admit, Stanley Richmond is smart to have someone on staff intelligent enough to ask $4,000-$6,000 for a pair of stamps cataloging $1,500, in a soft market bringing 50%, or less (on average) of catalog.

This isn't really up selling. Up selling is what they do at car rental desks, where you book the cheapest car, and then they talk you into a more expensive one...
It's also not exactly lipstick on a pig... it is a very nice line pair, and not often seen with the top and bottom cut like that.
They're asking a premium for a premium stamp, and yes a bit of over selling, but this is neither up sell or "beautifying" something that is otherwise not beautiful.

The opposite happened to me and Mrs DLR the first time we went to the UK. Booked an average 4cyl car and when we arrived at the depot they gave us a C class Mercedes.

Mind, the next time we went they gave us a Ford Galaxy (which again we didn't book), which actually does have the turning circle of a galaxy

Bo Derek? Their demographic is showing.

On ebay any one of Noblespirit's "exhilirating," "astounding," "breathtaking," "awe-inspiring" etc. lots would fall into this category.

I am no expert, but how does it grade 98 when the left and right margins are noticeably different to the naked eye?

My favorite descriptive term is "mouth watering".

I've often wondered how you'd prepare the stamps; stir fry? Souffle'?

I got many chuckles out of Shreves descriptions. They took "polishing the apple" to the limit, to hyperbole and beyond.

And, I quote:

"exceedingly light and face-free postmark"
"most uncommon to this issue, deep luxuriant color and a sharp detailed impression"
"razor-sharp impression"
"lavishly large margins"
"immaculate white paper"
"perf tip toning ... truly unworthy of mention ..."

I am sure many of the stamps were nice.

Images had a "glow" about them, a bit overexposed, concealing a few crows feet and laugh lines on the aging beauty.

This is only a $750 or less item if you completely ignore the grade entirely. As much as I abhor grading, this is clearly better than your average example, hence the SMQ catalog value referenced. While it might not bring full SMQ, I'd be willing to bet that it brings above full Scott.

I do not believe that Stanley Richmond is very involved anymore. I talked with him this past Summer and he basically defers to David.

Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey live on and on, in Stamp World...

HI CLASSICPHILATELIST --

your correct about the traditional "upselling" definition, however, I was using it in the looser sense, as I explained further on in my comments. Having worked on Madison Avenue a good portion of my career, that's exactly what we called dressing-up and hyping product to sell above normal list price.

Or to put it another way, "a white aspirin is a white aspirin...the only difference is in how it is presented (newer..better...bigger...stronger..more effective...99.9% PURE (gem)! -- it's all "weasel" advertising copy...it's all "lipstick on a pig!" And wait till someone in the stamp game starts using sexy models to sell stamps. Sex sells everything. Then nobody will be looking at what they buy -- or care, until it's too late.

Konichi-wa!
Hal

......captivating color and a perfect rear......

Kelleher auctioned off the same pair 5 years ago, uncertified, for $2800. Sale 652, May 2014.