Estate Planning And The Personal Letters I Have Received

Forgive me, but I didn't know where else to post this. It isn't really stamp related, but it certainly involves our postal culture.

Years ago, it was generally expected that all the personal letters that one had collected over a lifetime would be returned to their senders upon one's death. (At least that is how I've always understood things.) Is this still done? Should I make it clear in a codicil to my will? My lawyer is encouraging me to keep things as simple as possible.

I only ask as I have a friend whose letters, I suspect, will be collected one day and published (or at least archived.)

Does anyone else worry about these kind of things?

An aside: As for my stamp collection, heavens knows what will happen to it. I hope that my executor will find some worthwhile use for it.

I suspect that, if return to your friend is what you want, you should specify it, whtehr in your will or in conversation with your family.

I don't know if your stamp collection has any potential monetary value, but you could draw attention to any good material and suggest ways of disposing of it. I plan to direct my daughter to the best place to dispose of my cigarette card collection, which is pretty straightforward. Then something similar, but a little more complex, for the stamps.

Geoff

KGB: you raise important points, especially pertinent for those like me, without a spouse or other close relatives. You can utilize the APS estate service if you are a member, which at least provides a knowledgeable volunteer member to do an appraisal. You could donate your collection to an entity like the APS, or the APRL (library), or one of the other philatelic libraries around the country.

I suspect that anyone who is into collectibles would be doing their executors a great service by identifying realistic places to dispose of collections. Simply donating to "X" charity may not be a good idea because who knows if that charity has someone on staff who knows stamp collecting; what is valuable; and what isn't.

Oh, and I have never heard of any scenario where letters one has received were to go back to the sender upon the recipient's death.

"it was generally expected that all the personal letters that one had collected over a lifetime would be returned to their senders upon one's death. (At least that is how I've always understood things.) Is this still done? "

This has never been the case. Like a book on your shelf, a letter is yours to sell,exchange,give away, burn or whatever...but, as with any book/letter, the words are copyrighted by the author/writer and you can only make fair use of them. Your friend's letters, if they were to be published in full, would need copyright permission from that friend or his/her heirs but they do not need to be returned as they belong to you.

I'm taken aback that no one else had assumed this practice of returning letters continued on into this century. I can't quote any specific instances off hand, but I recall hearing about the practice even in our time.

In Decker's "Epistolary Practices," he writes: "Even among the nonfamous, the practice of preserving letters in view of returning them eventually to their authors or their authors' heirs was common throughout the nineteenth century."

A similar parallel is the expectation that a gentleman always returns a woman's love letters after they have separated.

I like the idea of returning letters but why wait until death? I would just send them and say how much I enjoyed them all these years but they are being returned for pithy reason.

It used to be the practice that, when a gentleman and lady concluded an amour, love letters were returned. This ideal was not always honoured, of course - the Duke of Wellington's "Publish and be damned" to a former mistress stems from just such a case.

My quote to exes would have to be "Publish and suffer poor sales!"

Are you sure "publish and be damned" was wellington? I thought it was Nelson.Don

Why? Perhaps my photograph will help explain.

Don

No, it was Arthur, not Horatio.

Geoff

I vote for "during life" but failing that, I see two practical options.

Ask your attorney if your state has a statute allowing for disposition of personal property by written memorandum, outside of the will. In many states, the executor is directed to honor your wishes for disposing of personal property items, but the letters themselves don't have to be mentioned in the court proceeding.

Or, talk to the person you've nominated to serve as your executor, and explain your wishes, leaving the attorney out of the process entirely.

No matter which way you go, you will want to let the executor know where to find the letters, and leave him or her a list of current addresses for the senders. The easier you can make it, the more likely it is that someone will fulfill your wishes.

On the point of who owns the content of letters sent to you, it might interest some members of this board to go onto the University Archives website and look at the content of a letter for sale written by Thomas Jefferson to someone asking about letters received from fellow Signer Benjamin Rush, already deceased. Jefferson declines both to produce the actual letters or their content on the principle that the letter established a sacred trust between the two of them that could not be relinquished without the consent of the author.

papa, very interesting!

My sister (z"l) saved much of her incoming personal correspondence.

I asked "shred or return" of one friend, and her answer was "return, please".

I asked "shred or return" of a second friend, and her answer was "SHRED!"

Another (who I'd never heard of) could not be readily located, so finding her remains on the ToDo List, where tasks go to die.

YMMV.

Cheers,

/s/ ikeyPikey